There is that saying, “The grass is always greener…”. I’ve heard it a million times, and I am sure you have too, but did you ever sit down and think about what that means? Like really think about it….?
In the last year or so I’ve come to realize that the grass is only green where you water it.
I had a similar routine for years; I would spend a few years single and having a great time. I would party without a single care in the world, take spontaneous trips at a last seconds notice, and talk openly about how I loved my freedom and didn’t need anyone else to make me happy. I felt grateful that I didn’t have to report back to anyone or ask permission to do anything at all. If I wanted to stay out all night, I would. If I wanted to stay in all night with a face mask on and a glass of wine, I could do that too.. I could do whatever I wanted, and I loved it!!
And then eventually I’d meet a man I wanted to invest some serious time into and I’d suddenly stop and spend all my time with that man. Before too long I would realize I felt alone and secluded from all the fun, and I would begin to think about the grass all my friends were frolicking in and I’d want that back. So, without warning I’d break another heart and jump back over the fence.
And then the cycle would begin again. This went on for years.
In 2010 I moved to San Francisco after a pretty dramatic break up with a guy I had been dating for several years. When we met he was amazing, but as the years passed by I began to feel completely taken advantage of. He was in a band and his band came before anything else and often required the assistance of my pocketbook. He also was mostly staying with me in my one bedroom apartment but was never contributing to rent, utilities, or groceries. He eventually began making a documentary that circled around a bunch of conspiracy theories and little by little I began to feel unsafe in my own home (He insisted on keeping a loaded shotgun in my home!!! WTF!!). Needless to say, I had to end that and get far away. So I took off to California.
When I began my journey in California I was living on a couch on 18th and Shotwell and googling (literally) “where to make friends in San Francisco”. All signs pointed to a park in the Mission District called Dolores Park, so I set out to find it. After a few days of wandering the city trying to find this park (this was before smart phones), I found it.
The first day I spent at Dolores Park I was wide eyed; observing. I saw people laying on blankets, reading books and magazines, drinking water and beer, listening to music, and even smoking joints (I was not in Pennsylvania anymore, that was for sure!).
So, the next day I went back to the park with a blanket to lay on, some beers to drink, and my journal. I did this nearly every day for about a week when I finally met a group of men who were on a blanket next to me. There were about 7 of them, and then me. They were all highly educated and very friendly and vowed to show me the city. And boy oh boy did they!!!
From using public transportation, to partying in the Castro District, the Mission, the Tenderloin, and Downtown, to every single street festival and drag show we had a BLAST! They showed me love in ways that I had never felt before. They quickly became my San Francisco family and I will forever love each and every one of them. They taught me the importance of watering my own grass, and that is something I’ve been working on ever since.
I have, of course had bumps in the road. Gave some men too much of my time who didn’t deserve it, gave other men too little of my time that did, and through all of those experiences I have learned a lot about myself, and what my grass needs to stay green, yet I never really put myself first to keep it that way. I spent my time having fun and not necessarily nurturing my own soul.
I traveled and worked and traveled and worked until eventually I began to feel that dissatisfaction with my life again. I did what I always have done and began to look for a new place to live. Where would I want to go next? What would it take for me to pick up my life and move it again, now at 33.
And that’s when I was approached with this opportunity to live in Abu Dhabi for 3 months.
The universe has shown herself again!!!! In my moment of need, she showed me a promising path!!!!
So now, here I sit, in Abu Dhabi.
Currently living in an extended stay hotel, life has been wonderful. I’ve been running at the gym nearly every day, eating healthy, drinking tons of water, rotating my time between the beach and the pool, meeting friends and enjoying the occasional scotch or whisky (as opposed to my previous routine of over indulgence).
When I talk to friends from home they all mention that I seem to be ‘beaming’. That my Aura has changed and that I appear to be so happy here.. and it’s true.
I’m watering my own grass.
In 15 days we’ll be moving into our new apartment in a neighborhood of Abu Dhabi called Al Reef. Life will certainly change for me as the feeling of being on ‘vacation’ will surely come to a close, but I hope to take that opportunity to get the house set up, continue on my road to good health, and begin to really explore this city as I will be closer to town and therefore closer to public transportation.
There is a list of places I want to see and things I want to do while I’m here in Abu Dhabi, and its just about time to start exploring those places.
As each day goes on, I remind myself of how important it is to water my own grass. No snarky text message or projections from other peoples personal dissatisfaction can take me down right now. I’m on a cloud of self care and I don’t intend to come down from it anytime soon.
Even if you’re not in a position to check out completely like I have pretty much gotten the chance to do here, please remember how important your own grass is. It needs watering, and even the occasional fertilization (not always the easy part of grass care, but necessary non the less), and of course, gentle touch and lots of love.
Be well. Be happy.
One Good Globe 