Tag: culture

A sense of safety

When I first began to tell my friends and family that I would be traveling to the Middle East, the most common reaction was concern about my safety.

Even as I’ve been here for now for over two months, I still get the occasional message asking me about how “safe” I feel here.

Well, let me just tell you that since arriving in the Middle East, I have met mostly only absolutely amazing people. From Abu Dhabi to Al Ain, to Dhank, Oman, and up to Dubai. I’ve rented two cars and driven all over this beautiful desert meeting people all along the way.

The only people I’ve met here who I didn’t particularly enjoy were a group of Americans who were drunk at a pool bar (getting drunk in public here is very frowned upon) talking about how they’re better than everyone because they’re Christians and serve in the US Navy (seriously, these particular guys were awful).

The people I have met who are from here are kind, generous and proud of their country. They acknowledge how much their government does for them and are appreciative of the things they have. They are excited to show you their culture and introduce you to their way of life. They are quick to ask you if you need help if they sense you’re lost or confused. They are very highly educated and have well thought out formed opinions.

The locals I have met here are the kind of people you can sit and have a conversation with for hours, and I love to talk.

Last Saturday I was laying poolside talking to a local Arabic friend about the hard parts of life. This particular day we talked about guns and gangs and violence. We talked about terrorism and hate. We talked about hardships and the crime we have personally experienced. We talked about the perspectives we’ve been fed by our government and our media. We talked about the differences in our countries laws and possible solutions for it all. We even talked about the importance of mental health.

Our conversation was eye opening to me.

You see, I am a 33 year old female from the United States of America and I have personally experienced more crime in my life than this 36 year old man who was born and raised in Dubai.

I have experienced more death (suicide, cancer, overdose and accidental), I have experienced more hate, I have experienced more gun violence, more depression, more anxiety, more more more more more of all the negative things in life… and it never really occurred to me that these things do not have to be “just a part of life” like I had always thought.

My Arabic friend doesn’t know a single person who has committed suicide or died from a drug overdose. He only knows one person who got cancer, and they got treated in Belgium (paid for my the UAE government) and has not had cancer again since. He doesn’t know anyone who owns a gun, but he does know a guy who has a pet tiger (which is against the law here). He has never met anyone who has been stabbed. He has never seen a dead person on the sidewalk. He still remembers the first fight he saw at a night club.

This is not a sheltered man. In fact, he has traveled much of the world and experienced several cultures. He speaks six languages.

We chatted all afternoon.

The next day when I went to see him, I told him about what had just happened in Gilroy, California. 4 dead, 15 injured.

His eyes got wide and his forehead crinkled. He put his head down and shook it side to side and said, “Some people are so sick”.

Little did I know that less than 7 days later I’d be telling him about another one. This time, El Paso, Texas. This time 20 dead, 26 injured.

It seems to me that I am safer staying here…

Meeting People Is Easy

“Meeting people is easy”.

I remember the first time I heard that phrase. I don’t really know how old I was, though if I do the math I was probably around 13.

I remember hearing that phrase and having an instant emotional connection to it. At the time, I don’t think I quite understood the depths in which it affected me, but as the years have gone by and I’ve grown older, moved cities and traveled countries, I am reminded how rooted that phrase is for me.

I think that when I’m stuck in the monotony of my day to day life, the phrase tends to slip away from the front of my mind. I get tied up in my routine, my neighborhood, my regular waterholes with my regular friends and there isn’t much of a challenge to “get along”.

It’s when I travel that I am hit the hardest by the true weight of what those words mean to me.

You see, as long as I can remember I have known someone who doesn’t have it as easy as me. I may not have known the words at the time (anxiety, depression, antisocial, loner, etc…) , but I recognized who those people were around me, and I always wanted to comfort them.

Maybe if I raise myself in the middle of the bully and them then the bully will lash out on me and leave them alone.

Maybe if I sit next to them at recess and tell them I don’t want to play tag either then they will feel less alone.

Maybe if I walk home from school with them they won’t feel so afraid.

I’ve been that person for as long as I can remember, and I’m sure my family could tell you countless more stories about me doing similar acts at an age that I was too young to even remember myself doing it.

The truth is, I have never found it difficult to talk to people. I have never been afraid to hold a conversation with a stranger no matter how kind or unkind that person appears to be.

Sure, sometimes in conversations people disagree with me. Perhaps they see a situation in a different way than I do and that’s fine, everyone has the right to see a situation though the lenses of their own reality, but in the end, I have still never had a problem meeting people.

I come up with this subject today because I literally just had one of the best weekends of my life with someone I met while sitting at a pool bar a few weeks ago, and if it weren’t for me being exactly who I am, and them being exactly who they are, we would have never met.

In the eyes of our “societies”, we shouldn’t have met.

Now, before anyone starts getting all hyped up about how its 2019 and people are mingling all over the world and nobody should let society dictate what they do in life, hear me out.

Before being offered the opportunity to come to the Middle East, I never ever ever would have even considered it being a destination for me. In my ignorance I thought that all of the Middle East was a war zone.

Before I formed that ignorant opinion, which was likely because of the wars that started after 9/11, I never really gave much thought to the Middle East at all.

I always knew that different parts of the world had different ways of life, and I have always been drawn to the idea of traveling as much of the world as I can, but I really just never saw myself here.

Anyway, back to my story:

I met this guy and he had a very deep voice that captivated my attention, so I listened carefully to his words.

We talked for about an hour or so and shared another round of drinks before he had to head out. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

We stayed in touch and thru our chatting I discovered more about him and his background. I quickly learned that he comes from a very deeply rooted traditional Arabic family. That he wears a Kandura during his regular day to day, and even though he’s 36, he doesn’t tell his family that he drinks and likes the occasional wild party.

We chatted often about the Arabic culture and where I should travel to and things I should do here in the UAE. We chatted about places I want to go and where he has gone and he offered to link me with friends he has in so many different countries around the world.

Then, this past week, he said he would come down to Abu Dhabi for two nights to hang out with me.

The weekend was great! Montecristos, scotch, Shisha, pools, beach, sunshine, dancing and good food. We got along so well you would have thought we’d have known each other forever! And yet, we never should have met.

If he were to have followed his strict family tradition, he would have never been at the bar we met at in the first place.

If I would have listened to the concerns of so many of my family and friends or continued to think that the Middle East was entirely war stricken, I would have declined the opportunity to be in the UAE and I wouldn’t have been their either.

And yet, we met and became instant friends.

Yes, I have met some real pricks in my day, and I promise you that not everyone has kind words to say in describing me, but in the big picture, out of the hundreds of people we cross paths with each day, most people are good people, across the whole globe, and meeting people is easy.

Be well. Be happy.