It has been quite some time since I last logged in to write. Since that day, much has changed. I moved back into my apartment in Oakland and began to readjust into my “normal” way of life in the USA which consists of working at least 2 jobs to sustain the kind of lifestyle I prefer to live; which involves a lot of eating, drinking and traveling.
I was just getting back into my groove when everything stopped due to Covid-19. Well, it didn’t stop totally abruptly, I felt it coming. I knew things were about to change forever but I thought I would have a little more time to prepare. I was wrong.
It was Sunday, March 15th, 2020. I was catching up with a friend over a few drinks at a dive bar about 40 minutes outside of Oakland when the bar phone rang. The bartender answered the phone and almost immediately looked confused. My friend was talking to me, but I had stopped listening to him. I was observing the body language of the bartender while he carried on a conversation I couldn’t hear.
He hung up the phone and picked up the remote to the jukebox while he took a few deep breaths. He then lowered the music and made an announcement, “Finish up your drinks, the bar is now closed”.
“WHAT!!?”- The overall reaction from each and every patron in the place.
I looked at my watch; it was 2:30 in the afternoon.
I looked at my friend; he laughed and said, “This must be a joke”.
I looked at the bartender; he picked up the remote for the television and changed the channel to reflect the local news – Our California Governor, Gavin Newsom, was on the television making an announcement.
“All non-essential businesses, including bars, were to shut down immediately and the enforcement would begin at midnight. “
The bar drew silent as people finished up their drinks, closed their tabs, and made their way to the door.
My friend invited me to his place where he suggested we have a few more drinks and watch the news. I declined. I needed to get home; who knew how long public transportation would keep operating.
As soon as I boarded the BART train a feeling of panic and dread began to settle in my chest.
I went to bed last night with a “plan” of how my day would be today… This was it:
Wake up at 6, shower, get ready, take a taxi to Gateway of India, get on ferry to Elorra Caves, maybe walk around that part of town for a bit, take taxi back.
That did NOT happen.
Instead, my day was so much more fantastic, it almost brought me to tears thoughout the day and nearly brings me to tears to think about it as I prepare to write about it right now…and I’m not an emotional person.
This is what DID happen:
I woke up at 6, showered, got ready and went down to the front to ask the reception the best way to get to Gateway of India. The receptionist told me I could take the local train which would take me 1.5 hours, or I could take a taxi which would take me 1 hour. Considering I wanted to get on the 9am train and it was nearly 7am, I told him I would rather the taxi. He told me to walk to the main road and take a right and that there was a taxi stand there I could get a driver from.
I walked to the main road and saw a line of tuk-tuks.
Unsure if this was the correct kind of taxi he was referring me to, I began to ask the men standing with their tuk-tuks if they could take me to Gateway of India. You would think I had made the place up as nobody seemed to know what I was talking about. The tuk-tuk drivers flagged down a local who appeared to be my age to try to use him as a translator. The translator talked to the tuk-tuk drivers for a few minutes and it seemed to me that nobody in the tuk-tuk group wanted to work this morning. The man who they had flagged down then told me that the tuk-tuks would not take me the whole way because it was too far, but that I could either take a tuk-tuk half way and take a taxi the rest, or just take a taxi the whole way but it would be upwards of 700 Rupees one way. I told him I’d rather just take the taxi, so he advised me that if I keep walking in the same direction and I’d see the taxi stand.
I walked down the same street, around a bend, and back up to where I had been nearly five times before already and didn’t see anything that looked like a taxi stand, so I asked someone new. The gentleman who helped me the second time told me to walk back the way I had come from and that the stand was right on the bend on my right hand side. He said the taxi would either be black and yellow, or blue and yellow.
I began to walk back.
As I was getting to the bend, I saw two black and yellow taxi -ish looking vans and I met eyes with an older gentleman sitting in the back of one who just happened to look up from his newspaper as I looked over at him. We smiled at each other, so I said a prayer and walked in front of all the incoming cars in order to make my way across the busy street to him.
“Are you a taxi driver?” I asked him
“Yes, where would you like to go?” he replied
“I’m trying to go to Gateway of India, though I understand it’s pretty far away.” I responded
“It’s no problem. You are a guest in my India, I will take you where you want to go.” He assured me. “Have a seat”, he said patting the backseat of the car where he had been sitting, “I will take you there, and if you want, I will take you site seeing and bring you back too.”
“Well, how much will that cost?” I asked him.
“For you, 1500 Rupee”
Considering it’s an hour drive and that’s only 20 US dollars, I agreed, and got in.
As we took off onto the crazy road, my driver began to share with me that he had been in Mumbai for 42 years and that he had been driving taxi for over 20 of those years. Before driving taxi, he parked cars for hotels (Valet?). He told me about his small village 1500km north and about his wife, children and grandchildren.
His grasp of the English language was not 100%, but I understood 90% of what he was saying to me which is more than good enough.
I then told him I intended to take the ferry to see Elorra Caves when we arrived at Gateway of India.
He looked at me strange and said, “Elephanta caves? Elorra caves is a 7 hour drive in the other direction.”
Considering I don’t feel confident about anything I say here, I said “sure!”, and we continued on our way.
Something told me I was in good hands and that wherever we were headed would be amazing.
As our journey continued, the driver, who by then I found out’s name was Tiwari, began to ask me how I wanted to plan the day. I told him I wanted to go to Gateway of India, get on the ferry to the caves, check them out, and then I would maybe want to grab a bite and head back.
Tiwari told me the ferry alone was an hour in each direction, but that “no problem, I will wait for you at the car whenever you return”.
This seemed ludicrous to me.. Drive me an hour to a place where I will take an hour to get to my destination and then check it our for at least an hour before taking another hour long ferry back …. that would mean him waiting at his taxi for at LEAST 3 hours for me if not longer… so I invited him to join me and told him I’d pay his way.
Ohhhh my, GAME CHANGER!!!
Tiwari was so excited at my offer, and we made a light plan for the rest of the day as we drove toward Gateway of India.
In the hour it took us to get to our destination we talked a lot about everything under the sun while he simultaneously pointed out our surroundings.
Tiwari and I spent the entire day together!! We walked around Gateway of India, jumped on the ferry to Elephanta Caves, explored the hand carved caves which is said to be one of the enigmatic heritage sites in India, met some furry creatures that I fell absolutely in love with, and then we drove around town and had a delicious Indian lunch, stopped for some beers and whisky, and then he drove me back to my hostel.
I was a whirlwind of emotions when I got back to my room this afternoon.
I will see Tiwari again tomorrow morning at 5am as he will be taking me to the train station for my departure to Goa. I told him I’d call him again prior to my return on the 4th of September in Mumbai so that he could show me more of this city he loves.
I have so much to look forward to!
I also have two more beers and some whisky to enjoy before bed!!
I landed 🛬 just after 4:30am 🌅 and got to my hostel around 5:30am 🚕. Check in time is not until noon, but I had given the hostel a heads up that I’d be arriving really early and they said they would accommodate me if they could, or store my bags until check-in at noon if they could not 🤞.
When I arrived, the man at the front desk told me he had beds available both in the mixed dorm (what I had booked) as well as an all female dorm. He suggested I take the bed in the female dorm because it was a bottom bunk and it would save me having to climb up and down every day. I took his advice, was shown to my room 🙌.
I put my bags 🎒on the floor next to my bed, kicked off my shoes 👟and crawled into my bunk fully dressed (I wasn’t about to dig though my pack for something to sleep in 🤷♀️) to grab a few extra hours of sleep 😴.
I got out of bed around 9am (7am Abu Dhabi time), took a cold shower 🚿(that took some getting used to 😬 ), had breakfast at the hostel, and then ventured out into the world to find a sim card for my phone📱.
I think I was warned about this city just enough 😳.
The smell here is truly hard to get used to 🤢. A combination of rotting meat and fish, human and animal waste, trash and pollution. Honestly, when I walk by a street cart and smell delicious food, it’s hard not to stop just to breathe for a little while 😷.
The roads here are insane! There are no real “lanes”, just cars, trucks, tuk-tuk’s, scooters, and bikes going in every which direction 🌪 making crossing the street a test of trust and faith 🙏 . I had been given a heads up and some advice on how to do it though, so I did fine. Never in my life have I slowly stepped out 🚶♀️ in front of an oncoming car 🚘 and walked, slowly, to the other side 😲.
I spent the morning eating my way around town (I couldn’t just smell the food and not try it!) and then came back to the hostel for a mid afternoon nap in the common room among other backpackers also napping, playing ping-pong 🏓 and listening to music. When I got hungry again I ventured back out to find food, and just as the sky began to open 🌧 up to drench the already muddy streets, I dipped into a restaurant called More’s Kitchen for Butter Chicken, naan, basmati rice and an ice cold beer 🍺. Everything I have eaten has been delicious with the perfect amount of spice!! Side note, it has been about two hours since my last bite of food, and my stomach still feels fine, yippi 🙌!
The weather here today was mostly partly cloudy 🌥 in the mid to high 80’s with mild humidity. A lovely break from the Middle East desert heat 🔥.
Tomorrow I plan to get up early ⏰ in order to get to the Gateway of India before 8:30 am and take a 9am ferry 🛳 to explore Elorra Caves.
If this is one of the hardest cities in all of India to acclimate to, I think I’ll be just fine 💕.
India: Ganesh Chaturthi or ‘Ganesh Festival’ image of the elephant-headed god Ganesh
I’ll pour myself a glass of Scotch before I write this one….
WARNING: This is a blow off post… there may be choice words some may not appreciate.
I was losing my mind this week. I was filled with so many emotions that no matter how far I ran in this disgustingly humid yet desert-like heat, I couldn’t arrange my thoughts into comprehension that I was comfortable with.
I felt like I got hit by a rogue wave and the bowl of shiny cherries I had been carrying around with me fell out of my hands and into the sand. The pieces all scattered in the sand or being washed away by the sea, and I couldn’t even find the bowl to put them back in… fuck!!
I could say it was frustration, but my frustration was in layers like a shitty cake.
I could say it was anger, but my anger stemmed from the past and the present and everything in between.
I could say it was confusion, but I was too confused to know why.
I could say it was even a little sadness, but I try to never admit my weaknesses…
So here I was.. losing my fucking mind.
Where do I start… breathe in… breathe out…
As you all know, taking any kind of risk has a certain monetary value. As you can imagine, quitting your job and taking off for months at a time means there is a bit more risk. Unless, of course, you’re blessed with one of those “WFH” jobs that allows you to really “Work from anywhere”… don’t get me started on my jealousy.
I thought I had all my “money” things in line. I had someone living in my place and paying my rent who would also send me my bills as they arrived so I wouldn’t miss any payments, money in my checking account to last me a few months of paying said bills/ traveling/ having some fun, money in my savings account for any emergency that may come about, and cash in my pocket.. My plan was set, but it all revolved around the first piece of the puzzle going down on time before the rest of the puzzle could fit into place.
As you can probably assume from my tantrum, the rent money didn’t come in on the 1st (and still hasn’t).
I, of course, paid my rent on the 1st, when it was DUE.
POOF: $1150 over budget.
I made contact with the individual* a few days ago who sayid they paid the rent and put all the blame on Wells Fargo for not ‘initiating the payment in time’.
They said it should arrive in my account no later than Wednesday..
*Nothing disgusts me more about a human being than one who can’t take responsibility for themselves and their actions..just simply say, “I waited until the last minute to pay the rent so it will be late this month, sorry”.
Puts me to my next money topic, my bills…
The same individual in my apartment was supposed to be sending me my bills as they came in. My routine was that I would receive the email and then I would go online and pay the bill…easy enough.
So why when I went to rent a car the other day to drive to Dubai did my card get declined for non payment!!? I went though the emails, nothing.. I made a 300 dollar payment on the card hoping that the large amount would open the availability of the card up to me sooner… no such luck. Luckily this country is so willing to accommodate they rented me the card without a deposit..
I’m sure my interest rate just went up over that garbage..
I spoke to a friend who agreed to grab my mail once or twice a week to send me my bills so hopefully it won’t happen again…ok, another positive.
So here I was, all week, trying to plan my next move (I have to leave UAE by August 18th because my visa expires, again), and I had almost no fucking play money to buy my plane tickets with and my credit card was being declined due to “missed payment”..so I was dipping into my savings account and giving myself a damn anxiety attack in the process.
Because time is sensitive and the days of waiting last minute to purchase tickets on the cheap are over, I purchased my ticket to Mumbai. I booked accommodation for a few nights there and booked a 11 hour train to Goa because after being on “vacation” the last few months, I decided that I need a fucking coastal party in India to relax these nerves, I also booked my accommodation there (I hope 5 days isn’t too long..or too short..).
All booked, still no rent deposit into my account.
I contact my bank… maybe there is an issue on their side??
NOPE.
Stop. Breathe. Call an Arabic friend because instead of puff, puff, pass, they’re full of positivity, positivity, pass.
My Arabic friend 1. got me to breathe and remember “life is good”, and 2. set me up with his personal driver in India and promised me that this guy would take good care of me.
I called his driver in India who informed me that there is currently a taxi strike in India** , but that he would be sure to pick me up wherever I needed him.
**Looking at you, Ganesh!!*
Ok, a few weeks out are booked, money should deposit any day; why did I still feel like shit?
I called an old lover and friend and confessed that my excitement of traveling alone has dwindled down to anxiety. Confessed that this kind of an adventure that I used to crave and feed off of now feels like such trouble and that I’m feeling all the feels about leaving my family and traveling alone and that every step just feels so daunting all of a sudden. I told him that “giving up” and going home seemed like a better option right now.
He told me, “It’s not giving up if that’s what you want to do, but let’s talk though your other options…”
We did.
I decided to stay….
Today I took a break from the travel planning to spend some quality time playing pretend with my niece and nephew, and then went to the pool to drown in the heat and some crappy teenage book that was left in the house from the previous family that lived here.
I began to feel better…finally.
After the pool I took a hot shower, shaved my legs (it sometimes just makes me feel like a new woman), and jumped back on the computer.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
My productivity came back!! My anxiety dwindled.
I got the paperwork together and applied for my India Visa and I booked myself to stay in India through Ganesh Chaturthi (The festival celebrates Lord Ganesha as the God of New Beginnings and the Remover of Obstacles as well as the god of wisdom and intelligence..If you know me, you’ve seen my home and my tattoo) and then began to forward think from there…
I started to stare at the map… Thailand? Vietnam? Cambodia? Indonesia???
When I first began to tell my friends and family that I would be traveling to the Middle East, the most common reaction was concern about my safety.
Even as I’ve been here for now for over two months, I still get the occasional message asking me about how “safe” I feel here.
Well, let me just tell you that since arriving in the Middle East, I have met mostly only absolutely amazing people. From Abu Dhabi to Al Ain, to Dhank, Oman, and up to Dubai. I’ve rented two cars and driven all over this beautiful desert meeting people all along the way.
The only people I’ve met here who I didn’t particularly enjoy were a group of Americans who were drunk at a pool bar (getting drunk in public here is very frowned upon) talking about how they’re better than everyone because they’re Christians and serve in the US Navy (seriously, these particular guys were awful).
The people I have met who are from here are kind, generous and proud of their country. They acknowledge how much their government does for them and are appreciative of the things they have. They are excited to show you their culture and introduce you to their way of life. They are quick to ask you if you need help if they sense you’re lost or confused. They are very highly educated and have well thought out formed opinions.
The locals I have met here are the kind of people you can sit and have a conversation with for hours, and I love to talk.
Last Saturday I was laying poolside talking to a local Arabic friend about the hard parts of life. This particular day we talked about guns and gangs and violence. We talked about terrorism and hate. We talked about hardships and the crime we have personally experienced. We talked about the perspectives we’ve been fed by our government and our media. We talked about the differences in our countries laws and possible solutions for it all. We even talked about the importance of mental health.
Our conversation was eye opening to me.
You see, I am a 33 year old female from the United States of America and I have personally experienced more crime in my life than this 36 year old man who was born and raised in Dubai.
I have experienced more death (suicide, cancer, overdose and accidental), I have experienced more hate, I have experienced more gun violence, more depression, more anxiety, more more more more more of all the negative things in life… and it never really occurred to me that these things do not have to be “just a part of life” like I had always thought.
My Arabic friend doesn’t know a single person who has committed suicide or died from a drug overdose. He only knows one person who got cancer, and they got treated in Belgium (paid for my the UAE government) and has not had cancer again since. He doesn’t know anyone who owns a gun, but he does know a guy who has a pet tiger (which is against the law here). He has never met anyone who has been stabbed. He has never seen a dead person on the sidewalk. He still remembers the first fight he saw at a night club.
This is not a sheltered man. In fact, he has traveled much of the world and experienced several cultures. He speaks six languages.
We chatted all afternoon.
The next day when I went to see him, I told him about what had just happened in Gilroy, California. 4 dead, 15 injured.
His eyes got wide and his forehead crinkled. He put his head down and shook it side to side and said, “Some people are so sick”.
Little did I know that less than 7 days later I’d be telling him about another one. This time, El Paso, Texas. This time 20 dead, 26 injured.
Right this moment I am sitting in the extended stay hotel dining area. This is the hotel that we have been living out of since our arrival on June 18th.
There is a small American flag as the centerpiece on each table, red, white and blue balloons beautifully displayed around the dining area, and even large glass vases filled with water and dyed for our patriotic pleasure.
The hotel served up hamburgers, french fries and mac and cheese for dinner last night in celebration of America’s independence. They also brought in a popcorn machine just for the night.
This morning, as I came down for breakfast, they had pancakes available; also in celebration of the 4th of July.
To top it all off, shortly after I sat down I was graced with the company of two American Marine’s I have come to know the last few days. Perry, who just arrived two days ago, and David, who has been here one year and is having his going away party tonight (He leaves Saturday night).
I couldn’t help but have a little laugh…. There is nothing quite like sitting with two American Military men eating pancakes to celebrate the 4th of July while in Abu Dhabi.
Also, all awhile the news on the TV’s rattle on about the potentially extremely high shock of the cost of our presidents parade on the tax payer…
Needless to say, Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans.
May your celebrations be filled with fun and true reflection.
One Good Globe 